We Closed!

Well, we're officially homeowners! Hooray! I think that means we're adults, which, in turn, means Evan might have to stop making...how do I say it?..."junk" jokes. I don't see it happening.

Anyway, the good news is we own a house, it's in Audubon Park, and it has everything we want. The bad news is the people that sold it to us might be the dirtiest, laziest people on Earth. The countertops are covered in a layer of black scum. The floors are covered in literal dirt (like from their crappy potted plants). Everything is dusty (as in never-before-been-dusted-ever dusty). All the appliances are stained, and the fridge had a sticker in the shape of a trout on it when we came in. That sticker is now gone, but there's a nice little trout-shaped dirt outline on the fridge instead. The food pantry area of the cabinets were used by them to hold their recyclables (vomit), so there's all kinds of booger-esque food stuff stuck to them. Oh, and the upstairs carpet is soaked in cat urine!

In terms of laziness, there is much evidence of this as well. There are paint drippings on the hardwood floors (who needs dropcloths?!). There's paint on most of the door handles. The showerhead in the master bath appears to be secured with duct tape. They painted the guest bath red and clearly did not understand that a red wall requires more than 1 coat of paint. Nor did they take the time to paint around the towel bar, as there is red paint dripping all over it. Oh, and they painted over every face plate, switch, and outlet. That should be fun to try to remove!

Anyway, while this all really sucks a big one, it will be nice to look back on this house in a year (b/c that's how long I believe it will take to remove the scars of the old owners) and see how much better we've made it. Seriously, after we clean it and paint it we'll probably already have like $10k in equity in it. We're putting in new carpet to replace the cat-ruined stuff. We will utilize drop cloths when painting and also utilize two coats of paint where necessary. We also plan to clean, oh I don't know, ONCE A WEEK, instead of once a year, which is my best guess as to how often these people cleaned. It's been hard to temper my OCD and not worry about the cleaning issues, but with a lot of bleach and a little febreeze, I think I'll get there.

Here's some pics of us in the new house, right after closing. We were going to buy champagne, but we're pretty cheap, so we just split a Bud Light from the case we bought to bribe people to help us with the house. LJ loves his new yard! I took a pic of his first pee! Memories in the making, right here.
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