And after the wedding...straight to Hell!

At Evan's mom's (Toots') request, I sent in our wedding info and a picture to The Record, the newspaper of the Catholic Archdiocese of Louisville, a few months ago. They have a supplement to the newspaper in which people can announce weddings. There were no problems...until today. I'll cut and paste the email conversation I had with the following woman, Kathy.

The beginning:

Stephanie,
We need the name of the catholic priest that will be marrying you and Evan at St. Luke's Chapel in Charleston, SC.
We need this info. ASAP.
Thank you,
Kathy
The Record

A key element to this story: we are not being married by a Catholic priest.

My reply:

Kathy,
We are getting married at a non-denominational chapel and, thus, will not be able to obtain a Catholic priest to officiate. We haven't yet chosen an officiant and plan to do so when we visit South Carolina for Christmas. Thanks!
Stephanie

To protect myself, I tried to avoid having to admit (or confess, if you will) that I was not Catholic.
Then, things took a turn:

Stephanie,
The purpose of the supplement is to honor the sacrament of marriage, and we run weddings that are taking place within the Catholic faith. Preparation for a Catholic marriage begins at the parish level with a priest or deacon. If you can provide us the name of the parish and the Catholic priest or deacon you are working with, we will be happy to run your announcement.
Sincerely,
The Record

Oh, well, Kathy, I guess I didn't realize that certain marriages do not deserve the great HONOR of being published in the awe-inspiring piece of journalism that is The Record.
Thinking maybe she thought we were just some bumbling Baptists or Jews who stumbled upon The Record, didn't understand that it was all about the Catholics, and decided we just HAD to be published in it, I sent this reply:

Kathy,
My fiance grew up Catholic, and his parents are members of the church in Louisville, but I am not so we haven't been working with a priest or deacon. My future mother-in-law asked that I send in the information to the Record for the announcement because of their faith and because they get The Record. Thanks!
Stephanie

I mean, Toots and Eddie are dues-paying (I'm not sure this is the proper phraseology) members of the Catholic Church. That is, after all, why they receive The Record in the first place. Apparently, however, their lifelong devotion to their faith is not enough to overcome the evil that is me, as I received one final email (the death knell):

Stephanie,
Thank you for your response, however, I regret that we will be unable to print your announcement in the bridal supplement.
I wish you a very blessed life together.
Blessings,
Kathy

So, that's it, everyone, we got rejected by The Record, despite the fact that Evan's parents probably supplement the publication with what they give to the church. However, I'm sure this woman knows that the LEAST of our worries is getting our 15 minutes of fame. Because not only is our marriage disfavored by God, but, if we continue in our non-Catholic ways, we'll surely find ourselves burning for all eternity.

I don't want to offend anyone (it's probably too late for all that), but I would think we could all agree that this is absolutely absurd. Now maybe I haven't read more than Kathy, but I have read a bit about Jesus recently (yes, really), and I feel certain that he would have condemned such swift and passive-aggressive judgment. It's not that I care about being in The Record (although Toots wanted us in there, so, vicariously, I do care), it's just that I can't believe something as simple as wedding announcements have been perverted by religion. With all the hate that exists in the world today, it would be nice to see a religion promoting love. Ya know, like the love that Evan and I have for each other.